She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
