butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
