What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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