I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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