I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fuck appropriateness.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
