i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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