I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize