Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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