she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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