i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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