There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Be still, my beating vagina.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
