love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the day after is always just damage control
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she pinky promised me she was 18
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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