it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize