What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
