dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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