Betty ford says i'm here all night
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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