it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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