He is an equal opportunity slut.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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