it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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