Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
from now on my penis is your penis
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
