Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
