I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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