Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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