if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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