two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
