My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's official drugs can't kill me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
