then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
