She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
