For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
