Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
