The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
