Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
