As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
