In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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