These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
