yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
