this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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