We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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