We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize