Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
