At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize