thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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