turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
