i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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