you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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