Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
