This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
