Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
