She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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