ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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