I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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