Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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