Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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