She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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