I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
