Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
