And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
