Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
