IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
