I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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