I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
