Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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