Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he was CRYING into my vagina
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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