is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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