My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
