JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
