you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Congratulations! We have a period
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
