Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize