Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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