What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
